Life begun as Little Nana, for me.

This is how my life goes for the past.
Which results in where I am standing in the present.
Which will predict how fate lay my life in the near future.

I was young and innocent. Just like any other infants. Even though I couldn't recall, what and how I was like in my first few years of breathing, I would sit down and listen to my mother story-tell me about it. I would stupidly deny all the silly things I did, when I know I would really have had done it. She mentioned about me being the most pampered amongst my siblings when I was still an infant till I was almost 3.


My childhood history wasn't any different from any other kid my age back then. I was registered to a kindergarten school for 3 years. Although my memory is not as good in remembering certain things, some parts just aren't meant to be forgotten. I can clearly remember one of the days in school, I made my way to the toilet. A boy from the other class ran around the corner and knocked his forehead against mine. He started crying, and as for me .. Well, like I said, I was young and stupid. I thought it was a crime to make some other kid cry (even though it wasn't entirely my fault that he knocked his forehead against mine).


I left the scene, which was just outside my classroom and headed for the toilet. Along the way, a teacher saw me in tears and asked me if everything's alright. I don't have to tell her anything because she spotted a swell on my right forehead. Being a responsible and caring teacher towards a student, she brought me back to class. It was shocking to see the boy and his teacher there waiting for me. I was scared, it was as if they wanted to beat me up. Again, young and stupid.


Attentions were on me most of the time, when I was sent back home. At that point of time, we had guest from oversea. My father hasn't lost his job yet. His stable job with a stable pay. Daddy could get me and my sisters almost anything that we want. We were happy, as happy as small girls with big round lollipop on their individual hands. We love daddy so much, that we kissed daddy on the cheek as many times as we want, and as he wants.

And of course, at the end of 1998 Little Nana graduated Kindergarten, and proceeded to the next education level. I was registered into Greenridge Primary School, the same primary school where Sofie, my elder sister, was registered as well.


Remembering those childish moments, I had flashbacks on my Primary 2 illness tragedy. I had a sudden asthma attack in one evening after I got back home from school. Sofie pointed out my weird way of breathing to my mother and said that I had asthma. My mother asked me to stop doing whatever I was doing and rest instead. That particular night, my asthma got worst. My worried parents were busy discussing whether or not should they send me to the hospital. No discussion would have taken place if daddy weren't in financial difficulty at that point of time.


After hours of discussion, and hours of observation (if my condition gets any better, or worsen) my parents ended up with the decision of taking me over to the hospital. I remember clearly, at the middle of the night. I felt as if my body was rejecting certain unknown stuff that is inside myself. The feeling was excruciating, that I kept myself silent throughout the whole journey to KK Hospital. If I had to suffer, I thought that suffer silently was the best way to bear the pain.


I was still young, a Primary 2 kid, and I was uneasy for the fact that my parents were worried sick. Where both my health, and the bills are concerned. The feeling of being solicitous wasn't fit for an 8 year old to be undergoing at such young age, even if I do say so myself.


I was so petrified once I was brought into an examination room. Was surrounded by countless of doctors and I was told to lie down on a bed. Wild imagination started to form inside my head. From a young mind, this was all I could think of. Fear and Death. I was agitated by the thought of not being able to see my loved ones again. Once I'm out of that room. Room of nightmare. It all happened all too fast, that I was done in the room and was transferred into a ward.


I was well again and discharged only a week later. Sense of relief could be seen on the facial expressions of my family members, waiting for me to return home.

I returned school with tonnes of homeworks and assignments to be completed and submitted. Of course, with the help of fellow classmates and teachers, I was able to catch up and cope with all the topics I was left out upon.


But the asthma was just a wake up call for me. Even for an 8 year old. Wild imaginations, and all sorts of negative thoughts running through my mind while I was hospitalized. I was scared. Up till now, asthma is like an enemy to me. Not allowing it to take over my life and make me do whatever that I wouldn't want to.


Time flies. 2000. 2001. 2002. 2003.


2004. I was just like any other Primary 6 students. Whose parents were worried sick about my Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE), while I was busy watching television every single day after I got home from school after a paper each. Despite being a worry for my parents, and despite not revising as much as I should have had studied, I managed to graduate myself out of primary school.


Went down to school to collect results, on the given date. As surprised as my mother was, I was offered a Normal Academic or Express stream and was asked to chose between the two. Friends and relatives encouraged me to take Express stream, to challenge myself even when I did not have any confidence in myself. With the majority encouragement and support, of course I'd go for the better choice, and give it a go. "It won't hurt to trial an error right." I thought.






2005. Studied in Fajar Secondary School proudly in the class of 1E3. To make the story short, I got promoted to 2E3, chosed my preferred subjects, and got promoted to 3E2 and 4E2. Joined the Cluster West TAF Olympic since I was selected in the Health & Fitness program. It was all since Sec 2. All 3 years of me joining the Captain's Ball, we managed to get hold of Silver medals the consecutive 3 years.


By the time I was in Sec 4, I noticed the change in me. I admit the change that took place within myself. The preparation for Ordinary (O' Level) Examination took place only two months before the first paper. I was always the last minute reviser. I would try my best to absorb as much as my brain can hold, and try to remember detail by detail. Despite umpteen times of telling myself that last minute revision are a big no, I couldn't help it but to repeat and repeat doing the same thing. Revised the very last minute, certain papers, even on the day itself.


Had the papers during the month of Ramadhan (the fasting month is called Ramadhan for the muslims) and I certainly had countless of obstacles that came across my path at the wrong timing. I remember I had a great misunderstanding between a close friend for the whole month of Ramadhan. A very childish misunderstanding if I do still remember. Silly me, to even get involved in the first place. It was not worth losing your beloved friends, especially really close ones. The most crucial period in my whole entire life. Losing of beloved friends, fasting, papers to sit for.


I'd managed to clear all misunderstandings between my cliques and those that have lost their trust in me. I've got my friends back the day just before Hari Raya. I've gained their trust back. No one, except God, knows how relieved I was. I thought that I would never have the friends that I lost back by my side, ever again. But I was wrong, and I certainly was the happiest girl on earth when most of the misunderstandings were cleared. All wrongs were forgiven. But it's hard to forget. Standard.







December 2008. Tried for my very first job for ZARA Boutique located at Marina Square, Woman's. As a Sales Assistant, a Temporary Full-Time staff. I learnt a lot from this job experience. It was worth my 2 months contract even though there were pieces of sour and bitter memories there. I will only keep the sweet ones in my "happy-moments" memory. =))


Early 2009. Few more jobs on retail line as well after that. This was to find something useful for me to do to kill time while waiting for my O level result, my poly post result, as well as the course.


Received an S.M.S regarding my poly post. I was (and am) posted to Ngee Ann Polytechnic, under Logistics Management. My 6th choice, the only choice in my 12 choices that is recommended by Sofie.


Stepping my foot into the big school wasn't a regret. I decided that I made the right choice, firstly by following Sofie's recommendation. Secondly, for choosing Ngee Ann over 5 other Poly(s). I've gotten into a class that came from heaven.

People who got me so attached to them and the class. Making me looking forward to go to school every morning I woke up. Wonderful much ayy? I'm just so grateful to have been in the perfect class, and that was all that matters. Shiyi, Asidah, Kai Xin, Afiqah, Jacqueline, Ammelia, Michelle; my first clique that I got along so well with in NP. The guys in class who doesn't fail to make my day when I'm in a least bit upset. Keith, Ying Jie, Yu Sheng and my wonderful guys who always made me feel secured; Derek and Cilong.


I was a totally different person in Poly and out of Poly. I never dare to talk to guys first. Not until the Induction Program, and the very first day of school. I was pretty much happy with myself. For being able to be more open and stepping out of the "I am shy" world. From that point onwards, I was able to see myself in different perspective and I must say that I don't really know myself well.


Life is not unfair. Everywhere I go, I will come across that line saying, "Life is unfair.", "Why does God have to be so unfair to me!?" kind'dof thing. Well the thing is, your life, depends on which path you decide to take, and by making that choice, you're deciding your own fate. Only. You din know that its in your hands too.


Because, fate is in God's hand. You choose. Only HE decide. ;)


"Sigh. Life is just beautiful." =))

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Family Background;
A pair of loving parents.
Father Hamid Nawi.
Boyan-Malay- Chinese.
Mother Noraini Ishak.
Javanese-Malay.
Elder sister Nur Sofieyana Hamid; Sofie.
Marlie is the second born child to the 'rents.
Younger sister Nur Azzelieyana Hamid; Linn.
Youngest sister Nur Shazleenyana Hamid; Shasha.

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This is Nur Marlieyana Hamid.
And her journey towards her goal begins right here.